My first job as a physician was with a very large and prestigious pathology group. I had to work for 4 years before I was eligible for partnership. It was only eligibility because after 4 years, all of the current partners would meet and review my performance and decide whether I would be offered partnership.
During these 4 years, other partners would offer sage advice. “You need to do this to make partner!” Some took the time to outline different activities that would enhance my visibility and credibility. I had to make myself indispensable to the group.
Thankfully I did make partnership. But as I reflect upon my activities during this period in my life, I realize that I lived with a constant paranoia that all of my actions were being scrutinized and judged. If I erred, my first thought would not be for the patient, it would often be, “Oh no! Will this affect my chances to make partner?”
My priorities were skewed, distorted and awry. I was focused upon myself when I should have focused upon my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. My concern should have been pleasing God rather than pleasing man.
Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. You are serving the Lord Christ.
Colossians 3:23-24 (ESV)
There is one fact during this period in my life for which I am absolutely assured. All of my actions were being scrutinized and judged-by God. My continual stubbornness and sinful desire to do things my way clouded my vision resulting in my disobedience and lack of trust in Him. Thanks be to God for His mercy and grace that kept me with Him even when I was so willfully conceited.
Love and trust the Lord; seek His will in your life.