“How could you do this?”
This is the plaintive cry of anyone who has been wronged by another. It is also the cry of anyone who has witnessed a loved one do a despicable action. It does not matter what explanation is given for the sin: revenge, jealousy, envy, lust, greed. The heart of the matter is we do not become sinners because we sin, we sin because we are sinners.
When I accepted Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior, He blessed and sanctified me and immediately began the beautiful and merciful transformation in my life, through the power of the Holy Spirit. As Jesus Christ sanctifies my life, I have become more aware of just how depraved my life was without God. It is ugly. Sin is ugly.
I have examined my own life, attempting to dissect the complex interactions and experiences that have shaped me. At times, these periods of introspection have led to some insights: it was the way my parents raised me; it was the childhood friend who betrayed me; it was the business partner who always usurped me. These exercises may be helpful but oftentimes the only result is assigning the blame to others. These explanations still do not answer the most basic question, “How could I do this?”
I am a sinner.
I was born with my sinful nature. And even after accepting Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior, it still remains a battle between my old sinful self and my reborn spirit. I never wanted to admit this and acknowledge my utter helplessness with sin. I am too thoughtful. I am too intelligent. I am too good a person to do this. But God knows my heart and my true state.
The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked;
Who can know it? I, the Lord, search the heart, I test the mind,
Even to give every man according to his ways, according to the fruit of his doings.
I am a sinner. What I truly need is a Savior. What I truly need is to live a life completely yielded and obedient to Him. Thank you Jesus for dying on the Cross for my sins and taking the punishment I rightfully deserved. Through the power of the Resurrection, I have been forgiven of these sins and live a life that is being transformed into the man that You created me to be.
Love and trust the Lord; seek His will in your life.