“Dad, what did you do?”
My throbbing toe turned purple as the blood began to well up in the soft tissue.
“I stubbed my toe on a stool.”
“Dad! You have to be more careful!”
“I know, sweetheart!” nodding my head. “I am dangerous to myself!”
Indeed I am! Hardly a week goes by when I don’t end up scratching, cutting, or bruising myself. Most of the time, I am rushing, encouraging my careless and clumsy habits. It seems that it is very difficult to change this behavior. As I reflected upon my latest injury, a sad realization emerged, perhaps I didn’t want to break these bad habits? I like rushing. I like to accomplish in one hour what takes others an entire day to even attempt. So, in spite of my numerous injuries, why fix it, if ain’t broke?
Like a dog that returns to his vomit is a fool who repeats his folly.
Proverbs 26:11 (ESV)
My life emulates the Patriarch Jacob, always manipulating situations for my benefit, living by my own rules. When things go the way I envision, I convince myself that it is God’s blessing when, in reality, I am simply exerting my will. I am stubborn and prideful and keep returning to my own vomit, wallowing in my own follies. My physical injuries may be visible but the emotional scars are deeper and searing. God wants to show me a better way but do I obey?
I am dangerous to myself. What hope is there for me? Thanks be to God that by confessing and repenting of my sins to Jesus Christ, He is faithful and just to forgive me. He makes me aware of my many shortcomings and is transforming me into the image of His Son, Jesus Christ.
Praise God that He rescues me from myself.
Love and trust the Lord; seek His will in your life.