“What kind of Christian are you? You still lose your temper. You still are prideful! You still say mean things!”
These are the accusations that have been hurled at me, sometimes by friends and family members. I have no response, they are all true. Sadly, my bad behaviors will continue until the day I die. So how do I even know I am a Christian if my behavior does not consistently demonstrate the character of Jesus Christ?
The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise.
Psalms 51:17 (ESV)
For many years, I followed this same mindset. I was unsure of my salvation, always doubting if my salvation was eternal and secure because I still sinned. I have slowly and painfully learned that being a Christian is not about living a sinless life, no one can, only my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ could. If I love Jesus, if I truly desire to follow Him, I will continue to come before Him each time I sin with a contrite and humble heart and spirit, confessing my sins and repenting of them to Jesus Christ. I could give up and dismiss this as futile. I could attempt to convince myself that repentance is a waste of my time and energy. But I did not.
My desire to repent is the surest evidence that God, through His Holy Spirit, is working in my life and changing and conforming me into the likeness of His Son, Jesus Christ.
...for the righteous falls seven times and rises again, but the wicked stumble in times of calamity.
Proverbs 24:16 (ESV)
What kind of Christian am I? I am no better than anyone else in the world. I am sinner, saved only by the grace of God.
Love and trust the Lord; seek His will in your life.